 Matt was fuckingtoons somewhere between toons breaking down and crying fucking like a girl, and head butting fuckingtoons something fuckingtoons until his brains oozed out old his ears, or the fucking immovable object became movable. Maybe fuckingtoons having a few drinks to talk whatever was fucking bothering him over wasn't the brightest fucking idea Bill had ever had. At least in a public place someone might step in fucking before Matt did something to fucking him that couldn't be fucking fixed surgically. Bill made a mental note fucking: Big guy plus drinks plus distraught equals bad. Bill looked around; the place had gone almost fuckingtoons dead fucking quiet (like in one of those stock tip commercials), which was amazing for a bar fucking on a Saturday fucking night.
 "Tina."
 "Yaah, she was into old fucking this fucking kinky hypnosis thing. She liked to pretend she was fuckingtoons under my fucking control. She fucking liked to join be told old fucking what to do. She really fucking got off on it. To tell fuckingtoons the fuckingtoons truth fucking I toons kinda did fucking too fucking once I got fuckingtoons the join hang of it. Damn it." Matt stood up again old fucking. Bill instinctively leaned back out of reach. The bouncer old fucking took half a step. Matt saw the look on Bills fucking face and sat back down. "It was fucking a game fucking," he pleaded. Clearly Matt was trying fucking to fucking convince himself of something. "At least... I thought it was fucking. How was I to know she wasn't bull-shittin around? Christ she really fucking was fucking under fucking my fucking control, and its old fucking my fault. My fucking damned fucking fault."
 "Yah." Progress old.
 "Yaah, it fucking's fucking a flavor."
 Bill relaxed a little.
 "Ok Matt fucking," Bill toons tried again, "We need to start join pulling these facts together now so I can understand. I wasn't there fuckingtoons so I need fucking you to fill in a little more detail. Chunky Monkey fuckingtoons's old fucking, hypnosis, and Tina's disappearance all are related how?"
 "I told her to use Chunky Monkey."
 "You made her eat the ice cream, smeared old fucking it fucking on her fuckingtoons? Was fucking she allergic or something?" Bill was grasping at straws, wondering how the Patriots fucking were doing, where he was fucking going to take his girlfriend April in February for Valentines day, and in fuckingtoons general wishing he fucking was elsewhere fucking.
 "She fuckingtoons'll belong to the first guy who tells her to do fucking something." Matt fucking screamed, no longer fucking caring who heard. "She'll be his slave forever. Do you get it old fucking? Freakin forever. Unless fuckingtoons she just HAPPENS to wanders into another ice cream place with old fucking that flavor fuckingtoons first. Oh God help fucking me, it's my fucking fault fuckingtoons. All my fuckingtoons fault."
 Flyers posted on 316 different telephone fucking poles, 87 join walls, 19 bulletin boards, 12 mail fucking boxes, 53 fence posts fucking, etc... over a forty plus block area. They have only five words on them: "Chunky Monkey fuckingtoons please come home."
 Final Authors Note: Our hopes and wishes go out to poor Matt. With any luck Tina will not fall into the wrong hands (mine or yours). She will respond fuckingtoons to ANYONE (male or fucking female) so hopefully fuckingtoons someone with high fucking morals (yah right) will find fucking and return her safely to her rightful owner fucking/boyfriend.
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